Who's the daddy? Check out these gems...

This is one that brightened up my day via email.....

The following are all replies that British women have put on forms in the section for listing father's details:

1. Regarding the identity of the father of my twins, child A was
fathered by Jim M*******. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of
child B , but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.

2. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my child as I was
being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can
provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party
if this helps.

3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was
conceived at a party at 36 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex
with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good
that I
fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me
his phone number? Thanks.

4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a
BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels.
Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if
he's had it replaced.

5. I have never had sex with a man. I am awaiting a letter from the
Pope confirming that my son's conception was immaculate and that he is
Christ risen again.

6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that
to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic
implications for the British economy. I am torn between doing right by
you and
right by the country. Please advise.

7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all squaddies look
the same to me. I can confirm that he was a Royal Green Jacket.