Chester Chronicle - And Finally

And Finally... Porn airs on children's TV

2010-03-19T11:45:36Z

Television bosses in North Carolina, USA, have been forced to apologise after preview clips of the Playboy channel were played out on two children's TV channels.

]]> The pornographic footage played out for two hours before the problem was addressed.

"We're very, very sorry it happened - we know parents are concerned," Time Warner Cable spokesman Keith Poston told local news station WRAL.

And Finally... Is Basil Brush part of anti-Conservative plot?

2010-03-19T10:28:16Z

Children's TV icon Basil Brush has found himself being accused by The Sun of forming part of a pre-election bid to smear the Conservative Party.

]]> The newspaper, which allied itself to David Cameron's party a few months ago, said that the plot of a recent episode (in which a smooth-talking, blue rosette-wearing, school election candidate called Dave wins the poll with a promise of free ice cream which later turns out to be past its sell-by date) forms just part of a wider array of bias by the BBC.

If this is true, it's no wonder Cameron wants to repeal the ban on fox-hunting!

And Finally... Lorry takes car driver for ride on bumper

2010-03-18T11:37:12Z

A police investigation has been launched after a Sandbach-based lorry collected a car on its bumper and proceeded to push it sideways at 60mph down the A1(M) in West Yorkshire. The woman in the Renault Clio walked away from the incident, said a spokesman for Arclid Transport, the firm which runs the lorry in question.

]]> However, at least she was alone in the car, not like an Australian woman who was fined AUS$9,000 (roughly £5,400) for living in a car with 23 pets - 12 of which were cats.

And a 77-year-old woman in Nova Scotia, Canada, has found out she's been declared dead. Again.

David Beckham and James Corden share a bath - with lovely-bubbly pic

2010-03-17T10:38:52Z

David Beckham shows off his silly side ... as he jumps in a bubble bath with heavyweight Gavin and Stacey actor James Corden.

]]> The tattoo-covered AC Milan superstar, 34, stripped off in a hilarious sketch for the BBC's Sport Relief. A source said: "It is undoubtedly the single funniest scene ever filmed for Sport Relief or Comic Relief.

"David and James, who was playing his alter-ego Smithy, got on famously and really sparked off one another. In the three-minute scene, the pair share a romantic candle-lit bath for no other reason than they want to. David even gives James's body an appreciative nod at one point. Forget comedy gold - this is comedy platinum."

They filmed the water fun and games in Milan several weeks ago before Beckham tore his left Achilles, ruling him out of the World Cup.

For more celebrity news, visit our sister site, the Mirror's 3am

And Finally... I'm gonna make you a friend request you can't refuse

2010-03-17T09:07:00Z

Do not underestimate the power of Facebook - one member of the mafia did and ended up being tracked down by police.

]]> Also do not underestimate the power of false information - both the French train operator SNCF and Georgian broadcaster Imedi got themselves in hot water this week releasing dramatic news that was notable in the respect that it wasn't at all true.

But then who needs to go around misinforming people when the general public seems to make such a good job of it themselves? For example, did you know the Queen invented the phone? No? Just goes to show how misled you are then, doesn't it?

And Finally... Council bans perfume after being sued

2010-03-16T09:13:25Z

I carried a post a couple of weeks back about London being the smelliest city in Britain. It looks like Detroit is going to have the edge over the Big Smoke though with this piece of news...

Council chiefs in Detroit have banned perfume after a city worker who sued them over a colleague's 'challenging' scent won £66,000.

(Not so much Motown but BOtown).

And Finally... Cheese-rollers fall victim to 'elf and safety

2010-03-15T14:55:54Z

Gloucestershire's annual cheese-rolling competition, one of the great idiosyncratic British pursuits, has fallen victim to the scourge of 'elf and safety, with police and the local authority deciding that it is too dangerous for spectators.

]]> What's in a name? Quite a lot according to Asda, who are going to rename their 'fat balls' treats for birds to avoid sniggers from customers.

And Dr Peter Hegarty of the University of Surrey claims that if we start a letter 'Dear Sir/Madam' that makes us sexist.

Click the links to find out more.

And Finally... "Goat horn" grows from woman's head

2010-03-09T16:34:05Z

A 101-year-old woman in China has baffled doctors after growing a huge goat-like horn on her forehead.

]]> Zhang Ruifang claims the growth first appeared only last year and has since expanded to be more than 6cm long.

Now her family in Linlou, Henan province, are concerned about a second mark on the other side of her forehead.

"[At first] we didn't pay too much attention to it," said Mrs Zhang's youngest son Zhang Guozheng.

"Now something is also growing on the right side of her forehead -- it's quite possible that it's another horn."

Mrs Zhang's growth has not been officially diagnosed but the newspaper said it was most likely an extreme version of a cutaneous horn.

Cutaneous horns are made up of keratin -- the protein found in fingernails -- and are typically seen in elderly people who have had prolonged exposure to sunlight.

See pictures at ninemsn.com

And Finally... German woman calls police out to find vibrator

2010-03-08T09:28:28Z

A woman who called the police over to her flat to investigate 'suspicious noises' was surprised and embarrassed to discover it was a vibrator which had switched itself on.

]]> Meanwhile fate took an ironic twist in Pittsburgh, USA, when a factory which once made ashtrays for the doomed Hindenburg airship burned down in a fire.

And a study has confirmed what most of us suspected all along, that men are more loyal to their football team than their partner.

Click on the links to find out more.

And Finally... Teachers' free curry offer tempts students to revise

2010-03-05T09:21:24Z

Student teachers in Greater Manchester schools are hoping to encourage pupils to do more revision by offering them a free meal at an Indian restaurant if they attend enough GCSE refresher sessions.

]]> Sixty pupils from Tameside schools Two Trees Sports College, Astley Sports College and Droylsden Academy have joined the scheme, aimed primarily at improving performance in maths and English.

The project, run by Manchester Metropolitan University students, is called Food For Thought and has produced better-than-expected results, according to co-ordinator Andrea Waldron.

She added: "Our role is to keep them motivated and interested and this is a really good way of doing it."

And Finally... Vomiting guardsman keeps calm and carries on (video)

2010-03-04T12:19:00Z

This guard proves he's one of the Queen's finest after he throws up while on parade but doesn't break stride at all.

]]> The guardsman, dressed in traditional uniform of a red tunic and bearskin hat and carrying a rifle fixed with a bayonet, tilts his head to the left to throw up in front of tourists at Windsor Castle.

One onlooker said: "The guard showed no emotion and simply threw up and carried on marching. He was a real trooper."

And Finally... Town renames itself 'Google'

2010-03-03T13:43:49Z

The town of Topeka in the USA has decided to temporarily rename itself 'Google' in order to win favour with the ubiquitous internet giant.

]]> The campaign for the change was, according to the Topeka (or should that be Google?) Capital-Journal newspaper, initiated by a group called Think Big Topeka in order to encourage the company to test an ultra-fast broadband connection in the area.

Mayor Bill Bunten, who managed to get the measure passed with no opposition from any town leaders, said the action was primarily a bit of fun, but admitted that the connection test would be of great benefit.

The state capital of Kansas will retain its new moniker for a month.

At the time of writing, Google Maps has declined to adopt the new name of the town.

Jim Ogle, general manager of local broadcaster WIBW, said this was not the first time the town had done such a thing, adding that, in 1998, then-mayor Joan Wagnon temporarily dubbed it 'ToPikachu' in honour of a character in the trading card and computer game franchise Pokemon.

And Finally... Mind the gap (video)

2010-03-03T09:39:08Z

There's being a mookie driver. And then there's....

And Finally... Lazy dog-walker loses driving licence

2010-03-02T15:11:59Z

A man caught walking his lurcher dog by driving his car and holding the lead out of the window has been banned from the road.

]]> Paul Railton, 23, of Annfield Plain, County Durham, appeared at Consett Magistrates Court on Monday to admit two breaches of the Road Traffic Act.

Police were alerted to the offence by a passing cyclist.

Railton was fined £124 and given three points on his licence. However, he already had nine points, so the dog-walking penalty took him to 12 - the disqualification threshold.

Paul Donoghue, defending, said: "He accepts it was a silly thing to do, borne out with an element of laziness."

And Finally... The Big Smoke stinks (apparently)

2010-03-02T10:17:26Z

London was yesterday voted the country's worst smelling city.

]]> Car fumes, rubbish and whiffy public toilets contributed to the capital's unsavoury odour.

The reek in Birmingham was second worst followed by Coventry, Swansea and Glasgow in the Flash with Febreze poll.

Eight out of 10 people quizzed said residents of cities should do more to keep streets clean.

Spokeswoman Catherine Fairchild said: "Nasty whiffs can really get us down."