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It's not the ideal start to a season...

Madron FC have lost all 11 games of the season, let in 227 goals, including a 55-nil thrashing, and scored just twice. They struggle to field a full team but the club, near Penzance, refuse to give in.

Boss Alan Davenport, 68, said they are "probably the worst team in Britain" but added: "It would be easy to give up but we'll fight on."

Incredibly, there is another team below them in Mining League Division Two, after they had points deducted for not turning up to a match.

An online betting exchange is distributing packs of the strongest coffee ever brewed to help prop up the eyelids of English cricket fans so they can watch the Ashes series unfold in Australia.

A police horse sat on football ace Dirk Kuyt's car last night and smashed his wing mirror.

The Liverpool star saw his motor damaged after parking near Anfield before his club's 3-1 win over Napoli.

A video showing Ryder Cup hero Ian Poulter eating cereal from the Samuel Ryder trophy has left golf fans fuming over the 'disrespectful' act.

The video was uploaded on his Twitter page yesterday and shows the golfer eating Cheerios from the cup with his children.

And Finally... Fake team play international footy match

By James Shepherd on Sep 15, 10 10:16 AM in Sport

Togo's football authorities are investigating allegations that a fake national team played a match against Bahrain earlier this month.

Bahrain won the friendly match 3-0, but said they were surprised by the poor quality of the Togolese team.

This goalkeeper has forgotten the fundamental rule of penalty shoot-outs - make sure you've actually made the save before celebrating.

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Anthony White

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