Looking for that stocking filler?

Do you have several million pounds you've been storing under your mattress for a special occasion? Have you found yourself with a little extra to spend following the Government's decision to cut VAT to 15%? Want to make your Christmas a little more magical?

Why not spend your hard-earned cash on something that will make you the talk of the town? Yes, ladies and gentlemen, now is *your* chance to own Chester City, officially ranked as one of the nation's top 100 football clubs!

Now on the market, and situated near a popular commercial district and major transport networks, this charming, detached stadium offers pleasant views of the River Dee and...some fields, as well as being in both England and Wales, a unique feature which you can show off to other football club-owners.

With several careful owners (and some less so, quite frankly), this club has everything you need to be a success - a well-maintained pitch, some floodlights, a bar, a couple of burger stalls, a car park which becomes even more easy to find a space at with each passing season, a shop which is sometimes open and a die-hard core fanbase of 1,200 maniacs who'd support the club through thin and thinner.

There's also a squad of City players who, for the most part, will give it their all for the full 90 minutes, although some get a little discouraged when the team is five goals down...again...

* For further details on this wonderful opportunity to own a football club at a price that's much more affordable than the overly-fancy, so-called 'Premiership' clubs, contact a Mr S Vaughan at the Deva Stadium, Bumpers Lane, Chester. Hurry now, offer might end soon!